The Not-Yet Last Stand

I made it through X-Men: The Last Stand. It was supposed to be the last X-Men movie, the trilogy. X-Men, for me is the greatest superheroes’ movie ever, apart from The Incredibles – which was the greatest animated experience ever. (Thanks-rant: I thank Brad Bird. I thank Steve Jobs for buying out Pixar from George Lucas. I thank Javed Jaffery for an excellent dub making it the best-ever Hindi dubbed movie.)

But back to The Last Stand.

I am calling it The Last Stand, just like everyone at JoBlo’s does. Why? Because this is not an X-Men movie. Not for me. Not for the many movie and comic geeks out there. Hollywood is filled with movie makers who make the movies as in produce. They are part of a bigger creature called THE STUDIO. Now, a studio has the power to make or break a movie. It can bet huge and come out with a surprise – New Line Cinema’s greatest gamble called THE LORD OF THE RINGS. It can bet small and come out with a success - CRASH. It can also bet HUGE and fall head-first – TROY (In this case heel-first). All these amounts to a single most important part of movie business – creativity. Creativity in Hollywood is second only to probability of success. When quick-buck stands against a possible-bucks-in-future, the former wins hands down.

FOX could have waited for Bryan Singer. Apparently Singer was busy in the greatest re-incarnation in Cinema History. But they were looking for some quick bucks. When they got Matthew Vaughn on board for X-Men 3 I was all ready to forgive their urgency in pushing the movie. I love Vaughn. He just directed one movie and I love it. It’s called LAYER CAKE, See it. But as luck should have it Vaughn moved out. Instead of waiting for Singer or Vaughn, FOX goes ahead and assigns BRETT RATNER. I only saw Ratner’s Rush Hour and I can say without any reproach that it was very bad. More so, because a mumbling Black actor and an accented-asian actor hitting out on some gang isn’t my type of movie. I saw part of AFTER THE SUNSET. It didn’t interest me much even though anything with Salma Hayek would.

I am indignant. The Last Stand depends more on the mutants’ powers rather than the character itself. Most footage was wasted on CGI sequences and more on the various entries of characters – Wolverine jumping from the jet and using his claws to make an easy landing (Crap!). Storm changing weather because she was sad (Crap!), didn’t she felt bad/sad/angry in the last two movies. The movie was like, “Alright we don’t have much to tell, so we’ll put in whatever mutants we can think of”. But it wouldn’t have been that. The story was awesome. In the hands of Singer or even Vaughn the plot would have culminated to the greatest X-Men movie ever. I didn’t want to see half-assed mutants. I never want to see Storm acting up like a main character. I hate Storm. She would have been great if she died or just disappeared or whatever. I just can’t stop raving about how BAD this movie is. Not a shred of reason. No story telling at all. I don’t know how some great online reviewers found this movie good. My man, Joblo gave this sucker 5/10, which is bad but not bad enough. I can’t think of a number higher than 3.

The best part of The Last Stand was that it was very short. Clocking a little over 90 minutes, I was happy for the movie to end. The end was a bit like the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (and woman). (Sidenote: I saw LXG in the theaters, first day. Crappier than X3, I was laughing even before the intermission.) With an Indian POV I can say this movie is gonna make money that it didn’t make back in the west, LXG did. We are going to have various language versions – Hindi, Telugu, Tamil and all. And everyone will rush to see YEX-MEN in their preferred language. I can’t believe VAN HELSING (in Telugu) is still running in some theaters here. The current craze is Underworld 2 (again, in Telugu). They even change the titles of the movies sometimes. Right now, Superman Returns’ Spots are coming on the TV and the Hindi version has conveniently bumped off Returns - It’s now just Superman. But whatever the name Superman is going to Rock and I’ll be there to witness the amalgamation of an iconic hero and the best Superhero director there is, Bryan Singer.

Remember, remember, the fifth of November

Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. There is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof. -v

My cousin, shoeb and I raced to the theater on his friend's bike. The show would start at 2:45. At 2:38 pm we were filling up the bike's tank. And at exactly 2:40 pm we were skidding, literally. The bike skid for approximately 10 seconds. Now that's a really long time in skidding-time. But none of us got hurt, inclusive of the bike. We even got complimented for the control over the bike. We arrived bang on 2:45. I ran over to the ticket counter, got two tickets (nice seats). And we ran to the IMAX screen. The show had not yet started.

The movie begins with the capture and hanging of Guy Fawkes, with the Guy Fawkes Rhyme going in the background. Then we see Vendetta wearing his mask and Evey Hammond (Natalie Portman) doing her makeup. And then I switched off my cell and watched a Classic.


The movie is great. I don't see why Joblo.com gave it an 8/10. I'd give it 9. The screenplay is tight. All V dialogues and quotes are memorable. The scene where V introduces himself to Evey is excellent. Great intro. It feels weird at first watching V. Words coming out of a mask. And all his movements that compliments those words. Really weird.


The movie was inspiring not strong though, but just. And every word spoken by V makes the movie worth seeing for the second and even third time. The movie wasn't boring for a second. The only part which took the 1 out of 10 is the capture of Evey. You gotta see the movie to understand what I am saying. The cinematography is awesome. The falling blocks sequence (which you can see in the super bowl clip) is excellent. And yes there is a whole lotta wachowski in the movie. Bullet-time. Some scenes look very matrix-ish. But McTeigue does stand out on his own as a director.

The soundtrack is damn good. Specially the songs playing on V's jukebox, including Julie London's cry me a river. The count of monte cristo footage was excellent. And the Shadow Gallery was great too.

Overall a Classic if not Cult. Hugo Weaving as V was perfect, there isn't a better actor for this role. Natalie Portman outdoes herself. Specially in the jail part. Stephen Rea is good too. This is a must-see for anyone who loves a good movie. Not exactly an action movie, more of a political thriller. And yes it is truly Orwell-ish.

And you should see this movie.

No. Never download it. That's piracy. lol. No, seriously go and see Vendetta in a theater. You can wait for the DVD but I'd still see it in a theater. See it with a clear head and you'll have a much different movie experience than the rest of the audience. It will be like nothing you have ever seen. And remember A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having. Well, that line was actually irrelevant but you can't help but quote V.


P.S.: The RED Vs are courtesy of Joblo.com

Animal Farm

And I discovered George Orwell. I read 1984. I read it like, 1984 times. And I looked up Amazon for his complete bibliography and I decided to buy anything "Orwell" the next time I go to a bookstore.

And whoosh!

The George Orwell books I used to see in every bookstore and every roadside stall vanished. It's like when I want a book all people want that book. It always happens. Always with my current favorite. So as I boarded my train to Chennai, and Lo Behold. Higginbotham's! Official bookseller on the Indian railway stations. I left my compartment and went over to the mobile stall. And right there among magazines, Indian comics, Telugu novels, cheap erotic thrillers, newspapers and other English novels.

Animal Farm.

The book is pure Orwell-ish satire. The whole animalism metaphor is so perfectly done that you can't help but see the whole communist idealism behind it. I read the short yet powerful fairy story all the way to Chennai. After reading 1984 again and again I've already got a nice idea of how Orwell's satires work. Animal Farm showed a lot of similarity with 1984. From its base of Socialism/Communism to its characters.

Animal Farm seemed to me like a prequel to 1984. Its basic ideology was similar to 1984 that is Socialism/Communism. The characters of the Manor Farm have much akin to those of 1984. To begin the pigs, I felt, changed to the PARTY in 1984. The pig, Snowball, turned into Goldstein the traitor. The pig, Napoleon turned into Big Brother.

The best part of the book was the last. At half-past the book I knew what the end would be. But still the part where all the farm animals see the pigs walking on two legs was really apprehensive. And the end was even better.

George Orwell has described Animal Farm as a Fairy Story. And certainly it is like a fairy story, but the mixed metaphor is hard to leave out of your mind. The representation of the revolution of the workers against their master is not a part of fiction. It is but true that the origins of a similar revolution always were and will always be the same as in this satirical writing. Yea sure this is a fairy story. But this little fairy tale has turned on to truth once before and will do so indefinitely.

Nineteen Eighty-Four

George Orwell is ... well, George Orwell. The man writes so well you can't help but admire the prose cos it flows like poetry. He hits each and every sentence with such weight that you are left with no option but to re-visit his books over again. Published in 1949, Nineteen Eighty-Four is so fuckin' futuristic that, for once, "relevant in these days too" seems quite true. Rarely have I read a book that is so damn close yet so far. Reading about doublethink and big brother you almost always think this stuff can be so future. Whenever I re-read 1984, each and every time, I feel that Winston will win his war. And each and every time he wins, but it's not his war. And each and every time I contemplate if this can be our future.

Now as I wait for V for Vendetta, its hitting screens (including IMAX) on 17th March, I go through many movies that show a demoralized, depressive and pessimistic vision of the future. Dark City, Equilibrium and many more like them seem to pick much of their future from George Orwell's mindfuck satire. I don't know if mindfuck typifies 1984 but that is how it always leaves me. Mind Fucked.